Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Hospital Chart Bloopers

Hospital Chart Bloopers . . . ultimate type-o's

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS (Actual writings from hospital charts)

1 . The patient refused autopsy.  I would too  if I had my choice!!!

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.

8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.  hmmm

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.  They have said that about me too

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 
(OMG!  that is some examination)

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.  OMG I wonder what that means lol

22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.  Thank God for that Lol

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. Hmmm???? 
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities..  lol  I can relate to that….

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