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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

True but incredible story...........


BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.

Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against, among other things, fire.Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'  
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.... and WON!
 


(Stay with me now......... .. ......... ......... )
 
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous!!
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be 'unacceptable fire', and was thus obligated to pay the claim.
So, rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling, and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.





 


(NOW FOR THE BEST PART........ .......


After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of 'intentionally burning his insured property' and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.


This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Custody of the child????

Scene: Husband and Wife in court getting a divorce.
 
The problem: who should get custody of the child????

Wife jumped up and said: "Your Honour! I brought the child into this world with pain and labour so it should be in my custody."

The judge turns to Husband and says "What do you have to say in your defence?"

The husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.

"Your Honour. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it? the machine's or mine?"

Yeh sunke...Wife replied : "Judge sahab...bartan mera...doodh bhi mera...aur usme dahi jamane ke liye
2 boond daalne se dahi bana to fir wo dahi kiska..? mera ya do boond daalne wale ka"

Husband replied : "Typewriter mein kagaz Maine dala, keys daba-daba kar mehnat Maine ki,
fir chithi kiski? typewriter ki ya meri?"

Frustrated Judge (getting mad):
"Abay saale agar tu chithi haath se hi likh leta to yahan par custody ki naubat hi na aati."
-----------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Imagine



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Sunjive Jaadhav <sunjive2@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Subject: Imagine / Resent
To: Sunjive -Yahoo <sunjive1@yahoo.com>


Dear Friends,
 
The pictures below illustrate our very existence . That's how life is ... we are living in our own world.
There's always a larger picture to what we live.
 
All you need to do is move away from the situation and look at the larger picture. You are one step closer to Bramha or Abraham,
like in the picture. You get more powerful and you'll find your peace to finally be ....a winner.
 
With Joy
Sunjive
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Significance of Diwali... ;-)

 A young ABCD was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...
 
 " So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
 
 But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
 
 So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."
 
 The mother fainted...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Nun::Curiosity is a powerful thing............

Curiosity  is a powerful thing............
 
A nun, badly needing to use the  restroom, walked into a local PUB. 
 
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and  every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
 Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt  into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the
room went dead silent. 
 
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK,
but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf. "Well, in that case
I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. 

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of
applause. 

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went
to the restroom?" "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" 
 
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "You see, laughed the bartender,
 "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue,  the lights go out."
 
"Now, how about that drink  sister?"

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Never Argue with a Reading Woman

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside Cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.  Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out..
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, And begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Send this to four women who are thinkers.

If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Fwd: BALAIAH'S Dialogues in English-Enjoy


MINDBLOWING: BALAIAH'S Dialogues in English
 
1) U can study and get any certificates. But u
cannot get ur death certificate


2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u
 
sneeze u ll say HUTCH
 


3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in
 
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College


 
4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u
 
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop



5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a
 
software engineer cannot bcom a software



6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world
 
in world cup
 


7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.


       


cid:9.552006539@web8407.mail.in..yahoo.com
WHY DID I OPEN THIS MAIL

Yoga vs Whisky....

Yoga vs whisky:


Pic 1: It takes years of practice to do this asana.

 
 



 
 
Pic2: It takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.



so why practice. just have whisky

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fwd: Google suggestions for Indians and Americans

It raised my curiosity so much that I actually went and tried. And found it correct.

Check this out in google… Funny
Google Suggestions for Indians and Americans

Friday, September 11, 2009

Okhil Babu's letter to the Railway Department


Okhil Babu's letter to the Railway Department: read till the end

"I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too
much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I
doing the nuisance and that guard making whistle blow for train to go
off and I am running with 'lotah' in one hand and 'dhoti' in the next
when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women
on plateform. I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station.

This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that damn guard not
wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to
make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big
report to papers."


Okhil Chandra Sen wrote this letter to the Sahibganj divisional
railway office in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New
Delhi . It was also reproduced under the caption "Travelers' Tales" in
the Far Eastern Economic Review.

Any guesses why this letter was of historic value?

It apparently led to the introduction of toilets on trains!!

Its not what you think it is!!

cid:image001.jpg@01CA25D9.96135220

 


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Old Guy at the Beach!

Old Guy at the Beach!รก