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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Re: FW: Guns n potatoes !

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: 
"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the
 GUNS!!"

At 4 am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Re: Fw: [forwards4all] Discoveries and Inventions by Men and Women


Men discovered COLORS and invented PAINT,
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things…
While Women STUCK to shopping.

Monday, November 8, 2010

WHY INDIANS CAN NEVER BE TERRORISTS

 
TEN  REASONS  WHY  WE  INDIANS  CAN'T  BE  (9/11) TERRORISTS:  



1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights. 

2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves. 

3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there. 

4. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down. 

5. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

6. We would argue and start a fight in the plane. 

7. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it. 

8. We would have put our Country's flag on the wind shield. 

9. We would have postponed the mission because a cricket match was going on that day. 

10. We would have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken with the hostages. 
  

 

  

Friday, October 22, 2010

New Indian Version of The Ant and the Grasshopper

Old Story: 

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.



New Indian Version:


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Mamtha Banerjee  allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against
Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..P Chidamabaram calls it Saffron Terrorism and BJP objects to this.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

UN general secretary invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley ,SM Krishna MEAffairs calls them to set up plants in INDIA.

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India ,

....AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!


N.B.
:  I have no idea whose creative mind this has come 
out from, but this piece is awesome.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

POLITICAL DISCUSSION !

POLITICAL DISCUSSION

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted
a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend
I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately
30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees,
14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."  "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with
your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."  "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going.
You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea
how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were
in before we met, but somehow, now ...it's my fault!!!"

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Nandan's Dream

Nandan Nilekani's dream - how the national ID card will work  on the ground............

Operator
 : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer
:
 "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator
 : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"

Customer:
 "It's he..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator
 : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal
Vayu.....Your home number is 2x26xxxx, your office 250xxxxx and your
mobile is 09xxxxxxxx. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer:
 "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator
 : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer
: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator
 
: "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer:
 "How come?"

Operator
 : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer:
 "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator :
 "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer:
 "How do you know for sure?"

Operator
 : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the
National Library last week Sir"

Customer
: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"

Operator
 : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The
total is Rs 500.00"

Customer
: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator :
 "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October
last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your
housing loan, Sir.."

Customer
: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator
 : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer:
 "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator
 : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your Nano Car..."

Customer:
 " What!"

Operator
 : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano
car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107.."

Customer:
 " ?"

Operator
 : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer:
 "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator
 : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also diabetic....... "

Customer
: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator
 : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July
2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer
: [Faints]

- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, October 11, 2010

Fwd: I beg your indulgence for the size of the attachment, but this is really an extraordinary clip, particularly if you love dance....please read the email first before you open the attachment.. .

video
This is absolutely amazing and captivating.  


 


 


Please: Read the story below before opening the attachment!


  
This is the story about this dance from the internet. Here is their story...

In a Chinese modern dance competition on TV one very unique couple won one of the top prizes.  The lady,in her 30's, was a dancer who had trained since she was a little girl.  Later in life, she lost her entire left arm in an accident and fell into a state of depression for a few years.

Someone then asked her to coach a Children's dancing group.  From that point on, she realized that she could not forget dancing.  She still loved to dance and wanted to dance again.  So, she started to do some of her old routines, but, having lost her arm, she had also lost her balance.

It took a while before she could even make simple turns and spins without falling. Then she heard of a man in his 20s who had lost a leg in an accident.  He had also fallen into the usual denial, depression and anger type of emotional roller coaster.  But, she was determined to find him and persuade him to dance with her.  He had never danced, and to dance with one leg...are you joking with me?
"No way!"

But, she didn't give up, and he reluctantly agreed thinking, "I have nothing else to do anyway."  She started to teach him dancing.  The two broke up a few times because he had no concept of using muscle, how to control his body, and knew none of the basic things about dancing.  When she became frustrated and lost patience with him, he would walk out.  Eventually, they came back together and started training seriously.

They hired a choreographer to design routines for them.  She would fly high (held by him) with both arms (a sleeve for an arm) flying in the air.  He could bend horizontally supported by one leg with her leaning on him, etc.  In the competition, as you will see, they dance beautifully and they legitimately won the competition."

When I watched this I didn't even realize that she was missing an arm because I was focusing on the guy with only one leg.  Really quite amazing!  I became aware that the woman's right arm was missing about 1/4 of the time into the clip.
 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Fwd: Enjoy!

1. What is height of Fashion?

  Dhoti with a zip

   

  2. What is height of Secrecy?

  Offering blank visiting cards.

 

 

  3. What is height of Active laziness?

  Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

   

  4. What is height of Laziness?

  Adopting a child.

 

  5. What is height of Craziness?

  Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

 

  6. What is height of Forgetfulness?  

  Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

   

  7. What is height of Stupidity?

  A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

 

  8. What is height of Honesty?

  A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

   

9. What is height of Suicide?

  A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

   

10. What is height of De-hydration?

  A cow giving milk powder.


Fwd: 10 Green Ideas....& innovations

THESE INVENTIONS ARE REALLY AWESOME

 

 Hotel offers free meal to guests who are willing to generate electricity 



The Crown Plaza Hotel in Copenhagen , Denmark , is offering a free meal to any guest who is able to produce electricity for the hotel on an exercise bike attached to a generator. Guests will have to produce at least 10 watt hours of electricity - roughly 15 minutes of cycling for someone of average fitness. They will then be given meal vouchers worth $36 (26 euros).


Disco pub gets electricity produced by people dancing at specially modified dance floor


All the flashing strobes and pounding speakers at the dance club are massive consumers of electrical power. So Bar Surya, in London, re-outfitted its floor with springs that, when compressed by dancers, could produce electrical current that would be stored in batteries and used to offset some of the club's electrical burden. The club's owner, Andrew Charalambous, said the dance floor can now power 60 percent of the club's energy needs.  


Company creates a desktop printer that doesn't use ink nor paper 


Who says printers only use paper to print documents? It's time for you to meet the PrePeat Printer then. Different from conventional printers, PrePeat adopts a thermal head to print on specially-made plastic sheets. These plastic sheets are not merely water-proof, but could be easily erased, just feed the sheets through the printer again, and a different temperature will erase everything or just write over it. Also claimed by the manufacturer, such one sheet could be used up to 1,000 times so that you'll reduce your expenses on paper for sure.

 University constructs a green roof as a gathering place


Green design is an enormously popular trend in modern architecture, just take a look at this amazing green roof at the School of Art , Design and Media at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore . This 5-story facility sweeps a wooded corner of the campus with an organic, vegetated form that blends landscape and structure, nature and high-tech and symbolizes the creativity it houses. The roofs serve as informal gathering spaces challenging linear ideas and stirring perception. The roofs create open space, insulate the building, cool the surrounding air and harvest rainwater for landscaping irrigation. Planted grasses mix with native greenery to colonize the building and bond it to the setting. (Link)


Designer creates a sink that uses wasted water to grow a plant


Made of polished stained concrete, the Zen Garden Sink has a channel that allows the water used while washing your hands to water a plant. Created by young Montreal designer Jean-Michel Gauvreau the sink comes in single or double basin model. The sink is designed in a way you won't get your plants all soapy. There is a main drain at the bottom of the basin for soapy grime. Your little plant friend just gets whatever you choose to dole out. (Link)

Designer creates a shower that forces you to leave when you've wasted too much water

20% of our total domestic energy usage is from hot water for showering and bathing. That's over 6 times the energy usage of domestic lighting. So designer Tommaso Colia came up with his eco-friendly shower design that will force you to get out when you take too long and waste much water. The eco_drop shower features beautiful concentric circles that will rise to force you to stop showering when you take too long, and accordingly save water. (Link)

Designer creates light-switch that changes colors to teach children how to save energy

Teaching the importance of energy conservation is the goal of this design from Tim Holley. He calls it Tio, and it's a ghost-shaped light switch that gives kids a visual reminder of how much energy they've used by leaving lights on. Tio starts out green and smiling. If the light is left on for more than four hours, he turns yellow and looks shocked. And if you dare to leave that light on for more than eight hours, sweet little Tio turns into a raging red hulk, complete with frowny mouth and angry eyes. But he won't just visually remind your kids about their energy habits; information from the light switch is sent to Tio's computer program so the entire family can see how they're doing. In a brilliant piece of visual positive reinforcement, Holley's program lets kids grow a “virtual tree†which gets bigger and healthier the more energy they save. (Link)

Environmental company creates a staple-free stapler to avoid staple pollution


Staples are supposed to be so bad to the environment that a company decided to create a staple-free stapler. This product promises to make collation eco-friendly. Instead of using those thin metal planet-killers, the staple-free stapler "cuts out tiny strips of paper and uses the strips to stitch up to five pieces of paper together." You can even order them customized with your corporate logo so you can, you know, brag about what your company is doing to stop the staple epidemic. (Link)

Designer creates an iPhone charger powered by a hand grip

A green idea that gives you a great hand workout as well. Charge your iPhone by a hand grip! This concept is called You can work it out, designed by Mac Funamizu.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Fwd: Lalbaugcha Raja ... Mumbai's most poplular Ganesh group

HAPPY GANESH CHATURTHI IN ADVANCE. 

 
 
Lalbaugcha Raja Album from 1934 ...

 
20052004 2003

2002 2001 2000
 

1999 1998 1997

1996 1995 1994

1993 1992 1991

1990 1989 1988

1987 1986 1985

1984 1983 1982

1981 1980 1979

1978 1977 1976

1975 1974 1973
 

1972 1971 1970

1969 1968 1967

1966 1965 1964

1963 1962 1961

1960 1959 1958

1957 1956 1955

1954 1953 1952

 

1951 19501949

1948 1947 1946

1945 1944 1943
 

1942 1941 1940

1939 1938 1937

1936 1935 1934