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Monday, February 28, 2011

GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO - This is good : )

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am

by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door
where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband,
"it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning
and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago?
when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him,
and you should be ashamed of yourself!
God loves drunk people too.


The man does as he is told, gets dressed,
and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark,
"Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?"
calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!"
comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set,"
replied the drunk.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Custom

A newly married couple was preparing dinner together, a roast, and the man watched his new bride rub the roast with olive oil, sprinkle salt and pepper on it, then cut an inch off the right side of the roast and an inch off the left side, put it into a pan and put the pan in the oven. The man thought this was a bit strange, so he asked, "Honey, why did you just cut an inch off each side of the roast?" His wife replied, "That's just how you make a roast. That's how my mother showed me to do it and I don't see any reason to change it." The man still didn't understand, but he thought, "If this is the strangest thing she does, I guess I can get used to it." He counted his blessings and let the matter drop.

         A few weeks later, they were invited to her mother's house for dinner. She said, "I'm having a roast, I hope you like them." "Definitely," the man said. He thought, "Oh good, maybe now I'll find out where this business started."

         When they arrived at his mother-in-law's house, the man went straight into the kitchen and asked if he could watch her prepare the meal. "Of course," she said, so he sat and watched her rub the roast with olive oil, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, cut an inch off the right side and an inch off the left side, put the roast in a pan and put it in the oven. He asked his mother-in-law, "Why did you cut an inch off each side of the roast?" She replied, "That's just how you make a roast."

         The poor man was getting more and more baffled, but he enjoyed his dinner and they returned home.

         A couple months passed, then they were invited to her grandmother's house for dinner. The man, determined as ever, called ahead and said, "Would you mind a special request for dinner? I'd really like to have a roast." She agreed and a few days later, they went to grandma's.

         He asked if he could watch her prepare the meal and she said, "sure."

         So he sat down and watched her rub olive oil on the roast, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, put it into a pan and put it in the oven.

         He said, "Didn't you forget something?"

         She said, "No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

         He said, "You didn't cut an inch off each side of the roast before putting it in the pan."

         She laughed and said, "Oh, that! I stopped doing that years ago." 
         
         "Why?"

         "I got a bigger pan."

Friday, February 4, 2011

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण - Must Read

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण


1.
सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.


3.
नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.


4.
अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5.
हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.


6.
नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.


7.
भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.


8.
सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.


9.
महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और व??रू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

 .


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Prescription

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my licence! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband, in bed with the pharmacist's wife.


The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Let it reach the 110 Crores Indians and the remaining if any

Let it reach the 110 Crores Indians and the remaining if any.

Kindly, share this valuable information wherever possible.


1. If you see children Begging anywhere in TAMIL NADU, please contact:
"RED SOCIETY" at 9940217816. They will help the children for their studies.

2. Where you can search for any BLOOD GROUP, you will get thousand's
of donor address. www.friendstosupport.org

3. Engineering Students can register in www.campuscouncil.com to
attend Off Campus for 40 Companies.

4. Free Education and Free hostel for Handicapped/Physically
Challenged children.
Contact:- 9842062501 & 9894067506.

5. If anyone met with fire accident or people born with problems in
their ear, nose and mouth can get free PLASTIC SURGERY done by
Kodaikanal PASAM Hospital . From 23rd March to 4th April by German
Doctors.

Everything is free. Contact : 045420-240668,245732
"Helping Hands are Better than Praying Lips"

6. If you find any important documents like Driving license, Ration
card, Passport, Bank Pass Book, etc., missed by someone, simply put
them into any near by Post Boxes. They will automatically reach the
owner and Fine will be collected from them.

7. By the next 10 months, our earth will become 4 degrees hotter than
what it is now. Our Himalayan glaciers are melting at rapid rate. So
let all of us lend our hands to fight GLOBAL WARMING.
-Plant more Trees.
-Don't waste Water & Electricity.
-Don't use or burn Plastics

8. It costs 38 Trillion dollars to create OXYGEN for 6 months for all
Human beings on earth.
"TREES DO IT FOR FREE"
"Respect them and Save them"
9. Special phone number for Eye bank and Eye donation: 04428281919 and
04428271616 (Sankara Nethralaya Eye Bank). For More information about
how to donate eyes plz visit these sites. http://ruraleye.org/

10. Heart Surgery free of cost for children (0-10 yr) Sri Valli Baba
Institute Banglore. 10.
Contact : 9916737471

11. Medicine for Blood Cancer!!!!
'Imitinef Mercilet' is a medicine which cures blood cancer. Its
available free of cost at "Adyar Cancer Institute in Chennai". Create
Awareness. It might help someone.

Cancer Institute in Adyar, Chennai

Category: Cancer
Address:
East Canal Bank Road, Gandhi Nagar
Adyar
Chennai -600020
Landmark: Near Michael School
Phone: 044-24910754 044-24910754 , 044-24911526 044-24911526 ,
044-22350241 044-22350241

12. Please CHECK WASTAGE OF FOOD
If you have a function/party at your home in India and food gets
wasted, don't hesitate to call 1098 (only in India ) - Its not a Joke,
This is the number of Child helpline.

They will come and collect the food. Please circulate this message
which can help feed many children.

AND LETS TRY TO HELP INDIA BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN

Please Save Our Mother Nature for  "OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS"

Let it reach the 110 Crores Indians and the remaining if any.