Significance of Diwali... ;-)

 A young ABCD was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...
 
 " So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
 
 But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
 
 So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."
 
 The mother fainted...

Nun::Curiosity is a powerful thing............

Curiosity  is a powerful thing............

 

A nun, badly needing to use the  restroom, walked into a local PUB. 
 
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and  every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
 Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt  into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the
room went dead silent. 
 
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK,
but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf. "Well, in that case
I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. 

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of
applause. 

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went
to the restroom?" "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" 
 
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "You see, laughed the bartender,
 "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue,  the lights go out."
 
"Now, how about that drink  sister?"

How to hide your password? Must Read... Dont miss...

HOW TO HIDE YOUR PASSWORD..................????????   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   No one can see your passwords or whatever you ' re typing   No one can see whatever you ' re typing or which website you ' re surfing     And the Ultimate is...

__._,_.___

Santa Banta Comics

 

 

 

 

 

Never Argue with a Reading Woman

Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside Cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.  Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, And begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. Send this to four women who are thinkers. If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

Fwd: BALAIAH'S Dialogues in English-Enjoy

MINDBLOWING: BALAIAH'S Dialogues in English
 
1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate


2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u  
sneeze u ll say HUTCH  


3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in  
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College

 
4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u  
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop


5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a  
software engineer cannot bcom a software


6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world  
in world cup  


7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

       


WHY DID I OPEN THIS MAIL

Yoga vs Whisky....

Yoga vs whisky:


Pic 1: It takes years of practice to do this asana.
 
 

 
 
Pic2: It takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.



so why practice. just have whisky