Brilliant innovation!!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sipping Vodka
SIPPING VODKA ..............!!
A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon,
So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon,
he got nervous and took a drink.. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Junior and the Spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,
10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,
"Take this and eat it for this is my body."
He did not say, "Eat me."
12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not:
12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
THE COST OF OXYGEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cost of Oxygen !!
In one day a human being breathes oxygen equivalent to 3 cylinders.
Each oxygen cylinder on an average costs Rs 700, without subsidy.
So in a day one uses Oxygen worth Rs 2100and for a full year it is Rs 7, 66,500
.
If we consider an average life span of 65 years; the costs of oxygen we use become a staggering sum of Rs 500,00,000 =
Rs 50 million.
All this oxygen is derived free of cost from the surrounding trees.
Very few people look at trees as a resource and there is rampant tree cutting going on everywhere which should stop.
Please pass this to your friends and care for trees.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Perfect male logic!
This is a story which would be perfectly logical to all males:
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
(I'm sure you're going back to read this again)
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Story for the week
article for the week..
Prakash Iyer, MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach shares two important management lessons he learnt from a 500-rupee note. Read on.
*1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week. I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note. Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine.A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!"
I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose. And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees.Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle.
She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone."Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen." The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.
*'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'*
Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things. But the problem is we don't take action. We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly and wonder who will be the lucky one -- instead of making our own luck. To be fair, some of us do think of running onto the stage and grabbing it. But we quickly hold ourselves back, because we worry about what people might think. Has it ever happened to you that you see a successful new product or a flourishing new business -- and remind yourself of how you had thought of that very idea many years ago? Well, that's not worth much. You may have had the idea first, but someone else did something about it -- so he'll reap the rewards. Next time you have an idea -- remember that simply thinking about doing something is of no use. Do something. Next time you see an opportunity -- think of the lady and the five hundred rupee note. Remember, just wanting it is of little use. Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.
*2. Several years later, it was another day, another time. And another motivational guru. As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?" "Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison. "Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience. He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred rupees!" was the response. "I want you to remember this," said the speaker.
"Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish. We should all be like the five hundred rupee note.
In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you-- that doesn't change your worth one bit! Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
Prakash Iyer, MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach shares two important management lessons he learnt from a 500-rupee note. Read on.
*1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week. I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note. Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine.A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!"
I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose. And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees.Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle.
She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone."Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen." The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.
*'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'*
Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things. But the problem is we don't take action. We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly and wonder who will be the lucky one -- instead of making our own luck. To be fair, some of us do think of running onto the stage and grabbing it. But we quickly hold ourselves back, because we worry about what people might think. Has it ever happened to you that you see a successful new product or a flourishing new business -- and remind yourself of how you had thought of that very idea many years ago? Well, that's not worth much. You may have had the idea first, but someone else did something about it -- so he'll reap the rewards. Next time you have an idea -- remember that simply thinking about doing something is of no use. Do something. Next time you see an opportunity -- think of the lady and the five hundred rupee note. Remember, just wanting it is of little use. Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.
*2. Several years later, it was another day, another time. And another motivational guru. As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?" "Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison. "Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience. He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred rupees!" was the response. "I want you to remember this," said the speaker.
"Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish. We should all be like the five hundred rupee note.
In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you-- that doesn't change your worth one bit! Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
*'Never let your self-worth diminish'*
Sunday, February 26, 2012
India through pictures...
Mummy loves you…...really?
Transportation
Romance is in the air ….
Seeing grandma off...one way or another!!
Rail travel is fun and you get to meet a lot of people
Traveling tailor
Off to school
Water fight
Why waste water...quick fresh shower!! ……..
Chivalary at it's best
Tired … cooped and pooped!!
And best of all...self advertising!!
(And do you wonder why?)
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